I have come to the realization that life is too short, too fragile and too precious to be wasted. Yes, I know, we have all heard the sayings a million and one times, that life is too short, the yolos, the many sayings of living life to the fullest, but those are just that, they are sayings. Unless you come to the realization yourself, or perhaps unless it hits you like a ton of bricks. The sayings will remain as saying for the rest of your life and life will continue as something to be taken for granted.
Well. Needless to say, it hit me like a ton bricks when I decided to seek out my divorce. I had spent two years in an invisible narcissistic designed cell that I eventually found the strength to get out of. Then I decided that I need to start living, I need to start accomplishing all the things I have put on my bucket list. I need to experience life and accomplish it. My divorce has been many things, and despite what people believe, my divorce has been a true blessing. The biggest blessing of all is giving me the realization that I can no longer take my ability to do, go and be for granted. Now I have decided to take life by horns and make the very best of it. I suppose with a large disclaimer of NO REGRETS. It would be a shame to go about living life to the fullest and fearing regretting it all. So I want to live, experience, expect and accomplish by taking every step as a gift. The best part of this decision is that this will be a big part of my healing. This will be the part where I get to take my life back, rebuild and rediscover the simple joys of life that lead to happiness and simply grow into the person that I have always believed to be an can be.
What led to this decision?
2017 has been a challenging year, mostly because of a number of health concerns that varied from unexplained seizures to allergic reactions to all foods from veggies to gluten. The seizures were scary, so with determination to find what was wrong, I went to see a neurologist who prescribed an EEG test to determine if there is anything wrong with my brain waves.
The EEG doctor was a tall, slender gentleman with a pronounced military buzz cut and a very warming smile. As I walked in I noticed a large picture on the wall of a motorcyclist in full black on a black motorcycle with red outlines and red inscription in Chinese. I immediately commented on the picture and he told me that was him. I could not hold my excitement. It has been a dream to own a jet black motorcycle with red trim and accents, of course, minus the Chinese inscription. He asked me what else I dreamed of doing and I told him of my wish to dive into the ocean from a cliff, learn to surf, go parasailing, learn to snowboard and ski etc etc.
Then the question was asked,
Doctor: how many of your bucket list items have you done?
Me: None,
Doctor: why don’t you do them?
I smiled shyly almost as if I had not anticipated the question. The truth was, I had anticipated the question but did not have an answer. The only answer I could give was a shrug and slowly squeezed the light out of my sight by shutting my eyelids. What I felt was confinement, constriction, helplessness. I lay there on the EEG table feeling stuck, and it was not that I had been connected to more than a dozen wires. It was that I felt stuck, and it didn’t help that I was in a relationship that did not give me room to breath, live or even dream (My life with a narcissistic husband). So when we finished almost 30 minutes later, I left without an answer, as he encouraged me to take on that list, but with a strong desire to one day be the one in the picture.
So what is in my bucket list?
So far I have over 100+ items in my bucket list all ranging from places to go, things to do, foods to eat and skills to learn and I am adding to this list on a daily basis. So I have decided to share some of my bucket list experiences here to give those who are hesitant like I was, or uncertain about their decisions to live, the morale to live out the things they wish they could do.
Some bucket list items:
3. Become a motivational speaker
10. Get a motorcycle license – 33. Build a motorcycle
11-14. Learn to ride horses, snowboard, ski, scateboard
19.Build my own computer
25. Swim with dolphins
35. Become and archer
37-41: Go zip lining, fishing, indoor sky diving, paint balling, rock climbing.
56.Drive on the CA 1 scenic route
64.Start my own natural cosmetic line
85. Start a lifestyle blog
102. Take trapeze lessons
103. Get a nose piercing with mom
and much more!
Discussion question:
Do you have a bucket list? If you do, what is on it? If you don’t, what would you have on it?
What will it take to get started on accomplishing those dreams?
