People play the victim in their lives for many many reasons, but regardless of why you are, whether itโs to make yourself feel better, to justify someoneโs abuse towards you, to manipulate others to get your way or to seek peopleโs attention and sympathy; Self-victimization is actually a form of self-sabotaging behavior. The only person who is truly hurting by your behavior is you.
Realizing that you are fabricating victimhood in your life is a big and important step towards taking control of your life and making peace with your present and past. Itโs a gateway to a better you and a wonderful future, but
Releasing self-victimization is a journey in itself. So what are some ways to begin the journey towards self-empowerment by releasing self-victimization?
1.Identify your self-limiting beliefs
This point it a really important one. What things are you telling yourself about yourself and others that are keeping you within the “I am the victim” mentality?
Here is where the work begins. You will need to actually pay attention to the stories you spin for yourself. Perhaps write them down over the course of a week and read them later to find your patterns.
For instance, if something happens to you, what do you focus on? Do you focus on what you think other’s have or haven’t done that made the situation
Spend conscious time paying attention to your mental stories and try to see how many of those stories are a result of childhood, media and societal programming.
Now, realize that all the brain is malleable, it’s always learning and changing, and anything learned, no matter how damaging, can be unlearned.
2.Resolve internal conflicts
Everyone has internal conflict. I have come to realize that majority of the time, it’s as a result of past experiences and toxic programming that cause a gap between who we are and who we think we are supposed to be.
A solid step towards walking away from a victim-hood story is facing those things that you fight yourself about and simply re-writing your story. Whether it’s a traumatic past or messages that have damaged your self-esteem and self-worth. Take those stories, analyze them so you may learn about yourself and re-write them for yourself.
Face the beliefs you have about yourself.
3.Shift your perspective into a positive outlook
A
Not to say that my depression was only caused by focusing on the terrible nature of my life. (At least that is how I looked at it). No, my depression was caused by many things, but my life perspective did not help either. Within the tornadoes that brought me all the way to “maybe death is better”, focusing on just how terrible things were, and how things were always going wrong was adding tons of gasoline to a never ending fire
Shifting your perspective won’t solve the problem, it will improve the situation. Learn to look at the brighter side and focus on the roses instead of the thorns.
4.Take away your self given right to complain
Don’t complain. Do something about it.
When you complain you take away your capability to do something about it. It’s like breaking your own legs right before you go for a run. It’s
When you complain you make powerless about the matter. The only thing is, there is always something you can do about anything and everything. So shift your energy from complaining to learning about what you can do to improve your situation, and do it.
5.Realize that there is always something you can do about it
Regardless of the situation, there is always something you can do about it to make it better or tolerable. The decision may be challenging, you may lose friends, a job etc. But you will have made a decision that is right for you, even though others may not see it as such.
Whether you choose what is right for you or not, that is still a choice. Whether you choose to do something positive driven or nothing at all, that is still doing something about it.
Since you do something about it even when you donโt, you might as well make a conscious choice to actively and intently do something about it
6.Be frank with yourself about why you feel victimized
The biggest breakthrough will be the honest, vulnerable and truthful conversation/realization you have with yourself. It will require you to let go of your assumptions about who you are, what you are and who you think you are supposed to be.
I think the
So go ahead and give yourself permission be human. Yes. Give yourself permission to be “less” than what you think you are, or what you think you are supposed to be.
It requires overcoming your own shame, fear
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