ITS THE LAST WEEK!!!!! Oh, Thank God it’s the last week.
I am beyond grateful for being able to get to this stage of this very painful journey and making it.
This last week has been a nightmare, along with actual nightmares.
1.Extreme fatigue:
Oh my…
I . . . am . . . tired.
So . . . very . . . very . . . very . . . very . . . very . . . tired.
Last week I wrote about how exhausted I was, but that was nothing compared to how I feel right now. I just can’t. I can’t. Can’t.
Everything requires calculation. The thought of leaving the bed to walk to the kitchen or restroom, makes me want to cry. There is no energy for anything. Top that with extreme constant pain… life seems very meaningless right now.
Ohhh a shower:
I need to rest from a shower.
A shower takes absolutely everything out of me. Then after a shower, trying to figure out what to wear is like mental torture.
2.Extreme brain fog:
My mind is a mess.
Everything seems so hazy and ungrounded. I am extremely forgetful, constantly confused and my brain can’t process anything. At all.
I. just. can’t. think. properly. Or think at all.
Having a conversation with me right now could be very irritating. I can’t formulate sentences very efficiently or properly and, it takes me forever to think of words.
Mom’s car: the red thingy with four round things under it
Ohhh driving:
I am having such a hard time driving. I used to be very sharp with changing lanes, gauging my speed, and observing what is around me. For instance, right now it takes me forever to change a lane. I just can’t seem to properly analyze how close or far a car is. Which incites confusion and fear.
Ohhhh and parking… I am parking worse than my mom right now. That says A LOT.
3.Not Sleeping, Nightmares and Fear:
I am not sleeping properly.
This was a problem in week one, then started again when I stopped helping my gut in week 5. Sleep just doesn’t want to come and when it does, it is extremely restless.
Then, I wake up a million times through the night, from nightmares and to use the restroom.
The nightmares induce so much fear within sleep, which completely ruin the flow of the day. Starting with fear, anxiety, exhaustion and pain unquestionably leads to a very unproductive day. Being that I am also having a really hard time meditating, and haven’t done so in about 3 weeks, setting my mind right just isn’t happening.
4.Sharp pains in my gut:
Very similar to week one, only this week and last week’s pain levels were surreal.
There are different pains:
- The sharp pain that feels like I have an army of angry ninjas just chopping their way through my stomach.
- The blazing inferno that doesn’t seem to have an extinguisher strong enough to subdue it.
- The knot that makes me feel like I’m growing a rock in my stomach.
5.Helllooo Seizure:
I was trying so hard not to get a seizure during these 6 weeks and three days before my procedure, I did.
So close…
I don’t even know what happened, or why it happened, it just happened.
6.Skin and teeth sensitivities:
Drinking water, irregardless of temperature is not fun…
and…
hot or cold water on my skin is definitely not fun…
Let’s just say, nothing about this week is fun.
7.Slow shooting intense back pains:
Oooohhhhh.. Hmmm. ummmmmmmmm.. Yeah.
I don’t have words for this pain.
Through the 6 weeks I had sporadic pains here and there and the shooting pains were, well, shooting. They were fast and at times I would recognize the pain after the fact.
These are slow and torturous.
They start from the lower back and slowly pull with increased intensity towards my neck.
S.l.o.w a.n.d p.a.i.n.f.u.l.
Slow and intense enough to make you have involuntary screams that correspond to the shooting pain.
…..
I just don’t have words for this pain.
8.Inflamed bladder / painful urination:
This was a problem that began in the beginning of this journey, but wasn’t bad enough until week 5. Now, hahahahah. Hmmmmmm. Now, I make about a million trips to the restroom and about a drop per visit. And like last week, oh! the pain.
9.Irritation:
The irritation I mentioned in week 4 was child’s play compared to this week. I never realized how much diet can affect mood. I had ideas that diet had something to do with mood and hormones, but wwwhhhoooaaa.
10.Anxiety & Depression:
No words.
***
I’m excited that this journey is finally over. I really am.
Before I stopped eating gluten early last year, I did not eat that much gluten anyway. I didn’t like the way breads and pastries made me feel so I reduced eating them, but I still ate farina, barley and other forms of gluten. As my health got worse, I eventually completely cut all forms of gluten out and started feeling significantly better.
I must say, eating 3 servings of gluten per day as required by the gluten challenge, is A LOT of gluten.
This challenge was like putting myself in a pressure cooker and putting it on high heat. The amount of gluten I was required to eat and ate, was a lot more than a regular diet with gluten, which explains a lot about why my symptoms progressed so quickly.
As painful as this journey was, it has been incredible to see just how much damage gluten does to my health and the opportunity to document it has been incredible for my own sanity. It ‘s a definite win to know that my illness is not “all in my head” as many have suggested.
UP NEXT: Upper GI endoscopy and biopsy =).
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