Depression. Oh my…
There are many things to say about depression, but those with it, know very well the speechless nature of the symptoms. The despair, the silent cry for help that you do not understand, the hollow depths of sadness unimaginable before, the lack of desire to function, to live and to be, the desire for social isolation, and the worst of them all, the regret that occasionally washes over , leaving you lamenting for the life you had that feels an impossible reality now. Not to mention regretting the cutting of relations, the availed adventures, the passage of time that will never be gained back. Last but not least, the nameless emotions that wreak havoc, the feelings of loss, doubt, distrust, fear, shame, and guilt.
Need I say more?!
Everyone experiences depression differently.
Like a fingerprint, depression makes its mark special in each of us. With that in mind, realize that you will need to create a personal survival kit and routine that works best for you.
Below are some of the things that are making a tremendous difference in how I face depression. Granted, I have good days and without a doubt also have devastating days, but maintaining the things below helps with the depths of depression I experience and how functional I am through the days.
1. Morning routine:
The best gift you can possibly give yourself is the gift of a slow, gentle peaceful morning. If this requires that you wake up a bit early, so be it. But you need a morning that consists of activities that are gentle, calming, grounding that will help you connect to your body, mind and breath.
My routine: I begin slowly, first taking my time in bed before getting up, by doing some breathing exercises mixed with some gentle stretches.
I suffer from a number of chronic illnesses and their symptoms are a mile long. The most difficult time in my day is right when I wake up. The amount of pain I experience is numbing, to say the least, so I begin the morning with breathing exercises to get myself acquainted with my body and the pains I am experiencing that morning, do some light stretches while lying down, then spend a good deal of time heating my body before getting out of bed. Depending on the severity of my pains that day, this step could take anywhere from 30minutes to two hours.
I have learned (the hard way) to respect what my body is saying and give it what it needs. If it’s two hours to be able to move out of bed, so be it.
I then set up my essential oil burner, meditate, yoga, take a walk (if I am able) and journal/write poetry while sitting in the sun.
2. Night routine:
As far as I am concerned, a good night routine prepares you for a good nightโs sleep, which is imperative for depression. Lack of proper sleep can easily get you onto a rumination cycle, a suicidal ideation cycle or any of the many other depression cycles that exist.
Also, a steller night routine sets you up for a good morning routine which sets you up to survive the day.
3. Meditation time
I cannot stess how important this is.
You need time to assess, befriend and understand what is going on inside you and the best way to do this is through meditation.
You need to befriend yourself and the best way to do that is to understand yourself and meditations offers a door into the world of self-understanding. There are many apps out there that have guided meditation and classes on how to do meditation and such. Get yourself on the meditation train. This step has been a major game changer for my depression health journey
Programs I use:
- Calm: The app has guided meditations, sleep stories and a number of other mindfulness tools, along with a depression masterclass that can help you through your healing journey.
- Insight Timer: The app also has guided meditations, but in a very different format than calm.
Of the two, I prefer calm which I use on a daily basis and use insight timer from time to time.
4. Time for Breathing
Oh boy, it might sound silly, but most people do not know how to breathe properly. Which causes major issues with anxiety, panic, and breathing-related concerns, but, when it comes to depression, learning how to breath can be an incredible way to revitalize your body and allow yourself time to feel.
One of the things I have realized is that the only way out of depression is through it.
You will actually need to feel what depression is asking you to feel. You will need to feel the despair, the pain, the agony, the lack of want of life, etc etc. You will need to understand those and get to a place where you know what those symptoms mean to you.
The only way I manage to get through those very difficult emotions, sensations and thoughts is with breath. Well, actually, sometimes I run from them, but that only makes the situation worse. So when I stop to face them, I make sure that I monitor my breath and seek it’s assistance as I face the unbearable.
5. Intentional Movement:
This can be yoga, tai-chi, walking meditation etc.
This is an opportunity for you to connect your body to your breath and hopefully both to your mind. Of course, I am not suggesting anything too rigorous.
Just set yourself up with a very gentle, kind and compassionate practice. It allows you to be in a meditative state, with breathing exercises that are connected to movement. The hope here is to get you to to connect to yourself, be present with yourself and create understanding.
6. Self care days i.e Depression days
Alright, so I have non-days, otherwise known as depression days.
I have a day in the week that belongs to no-one but me. Granted, I am single, without kids, but if you are married, in a relationship and have kids and other family obligations, you will need to discuss with them about a day or half a day in which you are alone, left alone to do as you please.
If this means you spend the whole day in bed, with the curtains drawn and binge watching something. Thatโs fine.
The point here is that you need to listen to your depresssion and as much as we want to fight it, sometimes we just need to do what depression wants of us. That may be to completely cut yourself off and that is ok.
The reasons I think itโs important to indulge depression within limits (i.e depression day) is because you feel the way you feel for a reason. Feeling that feeling and indulging in depression is part of your recovery.
These days are powerful for me. They make me feel capable.
7. Daily quiet time
Part of the depression problem is a lack of space; mental, social, emotional, etc.
You need to create time, daily, when you just are. Whether its to drink a cup of tea, read a book, take a walk etc, you need daily time to disconnect from everything and everyone and simply connect with yourself (This is a plea against technology) watching a show is not quiet time.
8. An excellent healing team:
Therapist, psychiatrist, chiropractor, reiki specialist, masseuse, acupuncturist, cupping specialist, herbalist, meditation instructor, breathing expert, nutritionist. I think this point speaks for itself.
Create for yourself a team that will help you through this recovery process. I can tell you from experience, you cannot go through this journey alone. You will need people who understand what you are going through and offer you assistance with compassion, kindness and care.
9. Community and support:
Seek out joy and laughter.
Now, this has been a difficult thing for me to do. At best, all I want to do is be as far as possible any human being. Energy is required to maintain relationships and to be honest, I simply don’t have it.
Between my physical and mental chronic illnesses, I barely have enough energy to get myself through the morning.
Things I have learned:
I have learned that there are people who energize, while there are people who suck the energy right out of me. We are not speaking of any extraneous activities, at the moment, I am speaking of just their presence. I have also learned that big gathering induce my anxiety and panic attacks
Although, I have also realized that gathering with people who I love gives me energy and desire to keep going.
Unfortunately, you will have to learn, as I have, to avoid the people who make you feel worse even though you may love some of them to death.
You will need to create space from negativity and surround yourself with positivity. This might mean that you need to start creating a community of support and love separate from your current community of loved ones.
10. Self-discovery journey:
You need to create self-compassion, self-love, self-kindness and simply be the person you need from someone else. Be that source of love and understand you wish to get from others. When the world feels like itโs falling apart, be able to tell yourself, โIโm here, I got youโ and feel the safety and reassurance you are looking for.
11. Laughter:
Surround yourself with positive energy, people, shows and the such. Research has shown that laughter affects levels of cortisol, dopamine and other hormones known to affect mood, stress and depression.
So laugh it up whenever you have the chance. Watch funny shows, videos, and movies. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh and simply offer you a positive environment.
12. Organization:
Clean, de-clutter and get rid of unnecessary things.
This will be monumental in your healing journey. As part of the process, you will need to let go of things that no longer serve you.
Organization can be difficult during depression, but I have found that getting organized improves how I feel.
13. De-clutter :
Remove, remove, remove. Remove things, ideas, beliefs, shouldโs and cantโs that are hurting you and simply lighten your load
14. A project:
Something to keep your mind off your woes (hobby, bucket list etc). This is the perfect time to rekindle a lost hobby, craft or explore something new The purpose of this point is to help you rekindle joy.
Advice: Start slow.
15. Anti-inflammatory diet.
Studies have shown that an anti-inflammatory diet can be a powerful tool in dealing with depression.
Whether or not you are on medication, coupling that with an anti-inflammatory diet, anti-inflammatory supplements and an active lifestyle will do you a world of good.
16. Probiotics and supplements
Studies have also shown that there is a big connection between the gut and the brain and taking a good probiotic can make a very big difference in your depression journey.
***
I know, some of you are probably thinking, โis she insane, she just mentioned how deep depression can sink you. Besides, that sounds like a whole lot of work.โ
Yes. It. Is.
And the answer to all the questions and arguments that will pop up trying to prevent you from doing the work, should be, “because I am worth it.”
Now, to be honest, I am still struggling with that part. The โbecause I am worth itโ part and on the days when that statement feels like a stretch, I go with, โbecause life is worth itโ and on the days that is a stretch, I go with “there is still so much to see and so much to do” and occasionally I go with “there is still so much to accomplish”.
And on the days when all of them feel like a stretch, I roll with “this is all hard and that’s ok” and offer myself whatever I need for that day. Whether it’s isolation, tears, writing, binge-watching, etc etc.
I offer myself whatever I need to get myself back to “because I am worth it”
This article is urging you to change your lifestyle.
I think depression is a call for change. Imagine it to be a revolution within yourself for the need for change. Only it’s not millions of people on the streets demanding a change, itโs your body screaming for your attention, urging you to notice the ways in which it is struggling to survive.
A word of caution: The most important thing you need to realize about the effort you will put in, is that you need to take it a step at a time, give it time and take it easy. Develop self-compassion and kindness, discover yourself in the process and let the journey lead the way.
The depression healing journey is not a day thing, or a week, or even a year thing. Itโs a life long journey. I remind myself often that the magic of my recovery will not be in the destination, it’s all in the journey that I am living now. A sentiment I am slowly learning to accept.
